Sukrosono wakes up amid the crowing of the jungle fowl. Dawn is slowly breaking. Meanwhile, not yet fully conscious, his hands move to hug his older brother. He feels that his head is still lying in his brother's lap. He is startled, when he realizes, his head is lying on the ground. He immediately knows that his brother is no longer near him. "My older brother, how did you have the heart to leave me?" Sukrosono grumbles.
He feels empty. The sun begins to reflect its light in the leaves of the jungle. The light is cut off here and there, while Sukrosono feels that love is so easily broken. The trees wake up to welcome the morning, the birds sing, as Sukrosono increasingly feels a loneliness in his heart.
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He remembers that at Jatisrana his older brother once promised never to leave him alone. It turns out that that promise has been easily broken. Why has this happened? Is it because the very high and noble ideals of chivalry on the part of his older brother cannot possibly match his ugly face?
He does not want to give up, so he rises up to pursue his hopes. And he immediately goes after his brother again.
If so, how cruel is that glory. Sukrosono does not want to surrender to the cruelty. He is confident that glory should even want to embrace what is ugly and not respected, like the ugliness in himself. He believes glory is noble if it does not reject what is dishonorable like him. He does not want to give up, so he rises up to pursue his hopes. And he immediately goes after his brother again.
Sumantri is already in the distance. He continues to walk forward to pursue his dreams. He does not know if his dream of becoming a knight will bring him happiness. Otherwise, how poor he will be. Because, for the sake of his ideal, he has left the love and happiness that he used to enjoy in Jatisrana.
For a moment, he stops in his tracks when it crosses his mind. What is really his goal such that he has the heart to leave his younger brother and return him to his loneliness and suffering? He is confident his ideals are noble. But why are noble ideals so cruel to love?
Love has proven that he is not ashamed of his ugly younger brother. However, his noble ideals have turned out to reject what was wanted by love. He feels as though it is impossible for him bring his ugly younger brother into his chivalric ideals. He keeps walking. He does not know where his ideals will take him. However, he feels, the road further distances him from love. In the midst of such feelings, he suddenly hears a voice.
"My older brother, how did you have the heart to leave me?"
It turns out that Sukrosono is already standing behind him.
"Sukrosono, believe me, I will not leave you. I'm just going away for a while," says Sumantri in his confusion.
"Wherever you go, I want to join you, my older brother," Sukrosono pleads, like a child who does not want to be left by his brother.
"No, my younger brother. Wait at Jatisrana until I pick you up.” Sumantri's voice begins to rise.
"Are you ashamed of me, my older brother?"
"No, Sukrosono, you are my younger brother. I love you."
"Then why won't you take me?"
"I told you, I really will pick you up after my service in Maespati is accepted."
"I don't want to wait so long for you. I can't be separated from you, my older brother. I'm afraid you'll break your promise again, like you've done before."
"Sukrosono, this is quite serious, let me finish my work, and I'll come back to you later."
“My older brother, don't leave me again. Take me to Maespati. I know what you feel. I won't bother you. Let me hide in the bushes or the trees so that no one will see me, so that there is no need for you to feel ashamed to have a younger brother like me. I want to do that as long as I can always be close to you and can see you anytime."
Sukrosono continues to plead. His voice sounds pitiful as he begs his older brother for mercy. Upon hearing such a pitiful voice, Sumantri's heart does not soften by feeling sorry. On the contrary, his heart hardens. He seems unable to control himself anymore. His voice is getting higher.
“Sukrosono, I am your older brother. You must obey me,” he yells. He has never before yelled at his younger brother, not since their first meeting in Jatisrana.
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> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (56)
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"My older brother, I really promise I won't bother you. Take me to Maespati. When I get there, I know how I have to hide. The people there won't see me, but I will always be able to see you, my older brother. I realize who I am. I'm ugly. I don't deserve to be your younger brother. Trust me, I won't make you embarrassed because of me. Allow me to always be close to you, my older brother. It is impossible for me to separate from you," says Sukrosono.
Indeed, he is ashamed to take his ugly younger brother to Maespati.
"Sukrosono, why won't you listen to me?" Sumantri looks like he is beginning to get irritated. Sukrosono's words clearly pierce his heart. Those words are true, and uncover the very depths of his heart. Indeed, he is ashamed to take his ugly younger brother to Maespati. His younger brother seems to be stripping him down. Now he has even become ashamed of himself because of his lies. He seems unwilling to accept with his mind, when it is opened to him, that his shame for his younger brother turns into shame about himself. He feels stripped away.
He turns out to have broken his promise to never leave his younger brother. He only remembers his own dream, and for that, he disregards his younger brother who sincerely loves him. He is really embarrassed. And his shame in himself makes his face red. Slowly, the shame turns into anger. The anger is running high, and he cannot control it anymore.
(This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo)
