Sukrosono does not know whether Sumantri can heal his father. He only knows that all of it is caused by his older brother. So, to him too, maybe what is experienced by his father can be resolved. He hopes so. And he realizes, how all of this happens because he does not want to be rejected by his brother. "You know, my older brother, I can't be separated from you," he cries softly. His screams are swallowed by the thunder of lightning that does not stop calling each other out. Lightning flashes in the dark sky. Heavy rain continues to fall in the night, which turns out to have come for a long time. Sukrosono goes after his father, leaving Jatisrana, the place he had always missed. At Jatisrana, he thought he would be able to live in peace forever. Now, he feels, Jatisrana is no longer present. He looks back, and sees Jatisrana lost in the darkness.
It has been quite a long time since Sumantri left Jatisrana. He does not yet know which way leads to Maespati Kingdom. Sometimes, he is confused about where his journey will be continued. He only believes that his dreams to serve will definitely show which path will lead him to Maespati. He insists on going through the jungle. He passes through the forests. He feels as though his feet just walk in the night. Even during the day, sunlight cannot penetrate the leaves on the stalks of shady trees. At night, even the moon is too weak to give him light. The night becomes sharp, its darkness is like a knife stabbing loneliness. Is this silence where his dreams should be buried?
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> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (59)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (58)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (57)
In such circumstances, not infrequently Sumantri is hit by despair. His dreams seem far beyond, and to go there the road is only darkness. The sound of engkuk birds at night even makes him feel scared. How beautiful will it be if he is now in the courtyard of Jatisrana, which is bright and fragrant with pandan (vanilla grass) flower powder? Every time he imagines so, the darkness seems to just say, it is impossible for you to go back to the place you have removed. In the morning he has to walk again, going up through the high slopes. How beautiful it will be if there is a hand on which he can hold. But, unlike in the bright Jatisrana, in this darkness, even the vines of the gadung (species of yam) plants do not want to give themselves to become the handle.
Along the way, Sumantri meets many ferocious and wild forest animals. In the trees, snakes dangle. Rhinos roam around. And lions seek their prey. Thankfully, these forest animals do not disturb Sumantri. Or if there is the one that disturbs him, Sumantri easily gets rid of it, and the animals immediately run away. Indeed, from Sumantri there is a power that radiates, which frightens the animals. Sumantri himself is never afraid of them. He frequently feels scared when he hears sounds without knowing from where they are coming. He knows that these are the sounds of ilu-ilu, banaspati, engklek-engklek and brekasakan, invisible creatures that like to disturb humans.
That evening, when the sun is about to dim, spooky sounds are heard. This time, it is scarier than the previous ones. Apparently, the creatures will not come to disturb. Sumantri prepares himself to fight them even though nothing is in front of him. He is surprised. What he faces is not what he imagines. It turns out that, in front of him there stands a tiger! The tiger is clearly trying to get in his way.
Sumantri gets ready to fight if the tiger suddenly jumps toward him with its claws. But, he is surprised, because the tiger is silent. The tiger is even swinging its front paws, as though it were waving with its hands. The tiger is about to greet him, but only a roar comes out of its mouth. Indeed, the tiger is Begawan Swandagni, who no longer knows he is a human or a tiger. He has words, but his tiger mouth cannot speak them. In front of his handsome son, he comes to his senses, his hands and feet now have claws. His son's skin is smooth and charming, and he touches his skin which is rough and mottled. Looking at his son's beautiful face, he smiles, but his smile only turns into the grin of his sharp teeth and cruel fangs. Am I really his father? It is impossible for him to admit me, because I am a tiger.
Also read:
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (56)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (55)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (54)
He increasingly does not know whether he is a human or a tiger. Indeed, he can feel, inside him the tiger is not just fake or imitation, but a real tiger. He can feel his blood is tiger blood, his instinct is tiger instinct, his mind is tiger mind. For a moment, he wants to return his blood, instincts and reason to his human blood, instinct and reason. He is looking for ways, how his son can find out who he really is, and understand why he has become like this. However, he cannot find a way any longer, how to make it happen. It is understandable, he has become a tiger. So, like it or not, he has to show himself as a tiger. It is not known how, and what will happen, in short, now he is a tiger that wants to make his point. His mind becomes as short as a tiger.
He starts to roar. His roar is terrifying. The tiger's lust circulates through him. He is surprised, how terrible and scary his lust is. With that lust, he can pounce, attack and kill. In front of him, Sumantri is no longer his son, but prey that can be attacked and torn and its flesh chopped, then devoured until nothing is left. He can be very savage and greedy, and kill his own son. For a moment, his thoughts as a human come to him in a flashing way. He feels he has found that this is the real lust in him. That lust had taken over him when with that lust he had sexual intercourse with his wife, and gave him a feeling of extraordinary pleasure. Feeling guilty for wanting to give up to the lust, he considered his ugly son simply to be just the fruit of the lust.
This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo.
