The Bajang Child Swings on the Moon

"How can you be sure that our child is gone?" Dewi Sokawati retorted loudly. "Maybe he is gone. But do not let his absence deny him a name, Begawan."

"Giving him a name will only make you unhappier, Sokawati. You'll only remember him more."

“Begawan, a name does not only recall memories, but also brings hope. Nothing can vanquish hope. In my heart I believe that hope can beat even death or nonexistence. Hope goes beyond life and death, do not you think, Begawan? I cannot be sure whether the child we've thrown away will live or die. Whether he lives or dies, I still have hope for him. That is why I want to have a name, to sustain my hope."

And she feels her hope bloom like the ashoka flowers.

Dewi Sokawati speaks with confidence, as if her wish has already come true. As she speaks, she sees that the ashoka tree in the Jatisrana courtyard is blooming beautifully, its flowers tinged with red. She places her hope there. And she feels her hope bloom like the ashoka flowers.

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Begawan Swandagni, who has no hope, is unable to see how beautiful the ashoka flowers will be when they bloom, when the morning is pampered by the morning sun.

"Sokawati, I do not understand your thoughts. I just want to name our child who is with us now. I name him Sumantri, Sokawati," he said.

"Well, Begawan, I give the name Sukrosono to my son who lives in my hope," added Dewi Sokawati.

The sky is bright, sparkling with green markata (emeralds) that descend from the clouds in a shower of hope as Dewi Sokawati speaks those words. For a moment, her sorrow disappears. Her abandoned son is now found in hope. She does not know when she will see her son again. But she is now confident that as long as her other child lives by her side, her abandoned son lives also. She does not know how she can have such confidence. She only knows that the two children cannot be separated. As long as one is alive, so will the other, even though he is now missing.

Thus, Dewi Sokawati nurtures and raises her son Sumantri. Sumantri was born before Sukroson and Dewi Sokawati thinks of Sumantri as Sukrosono’s older brother, even though the boys are actually twins. She truly loves Sumantri. But she cannot deceive her feelings. She loves Sumantri more because she wants to pour out her love for Sukrosono who is not with him. Every time she gives her milk, she sees Sumantri with a handsome face. However, on the face of her handsome son is also cast the image of her son’s ugly face. Every time she breastfeeds Sumantri, she feels as though she is giving her milk to Sukrosono. She feels that she is giving life to the nonexistent through the existent. So for her, the nonexistent comes to exist. She therefore feels certain that Sukrosono, who is missing, is still alive because Sumantri who is beside her lives.

Waiting gives her hope. But at the same time, waiting also submerges her in uncertainty.

Time flows. As it does, Dewi Sokawati feels as though she is waiting for something. Because she is always waiting, it feels as though she is unable to enjoy the present. So she adjusts to time as it moves slowly. It seems that time is simply a manner of waiting. Waiting gives her hope. But at the same time, waiting also submerges her in uncertainty.

In this painful waiting, she is still able to give her affections to Sumantri. She often smiles when she looks upon the handsome Sumantri. But her smile immediately disappears when she remembers the missing Sukrosono. "My son, I hope you know that I am actually raising you in my wait for your lost brother. Do not waste the milk of my waiting. You are alive and grow because of the milk that I should have also given to Sukrosono, your younger brother, Sumantri," she says as she breastfeeds Sumantri.

One night, the full moon was exceptionally full. Dewi Sokawati took Sumantri outside. She breastfeeds him as she allows her chest to gaze at the moon. In the old days, she used to let the moon enjoy her body as she bathed in the bamboo reeds, with its shower of fresh water. Now she lets the moon look upon her breasts once again as her son enjoys the milk. She looks at the moon and she remembers the coconut water that splashed on her body when she bathed in the bamboo reed shower of the Jatisrana hermitage, just moments after she performed the ritual for the seventh month of pregnancy.

"Sumantri, your father prevented me from taking the other coconut. I insisted on taking it, and took it to the bamboo reed shower. I cradled it against my chest, and my feelings were carried back to the moment when I rolled over in the act of love with your father. The coconut your father defended was you, Sumantri. Meanwhile, the coconut I took to bathe was your younger brother Sukrosono. I only found out later why I wanted it with all my heart, even though your father forbade it. You and your younger brother are two inseparable coconuts, Sumantri," said Dewi Sokawati, cradling her child.

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For a moment, the bright moon gave a frightening silence. The faint call of a cangkilung (warbler) was heard, emerging from the grip of the night. The cangkilung seemed to speak and lend the words that suddenly erupted from the depths of Dewi Sokawati's heart.

“Sumantri, my son, you are incredibly handsome. You have a younger brother with a demon’s face who is incredibly ugly. I do not know if you will ever meet him. However, if you do meet him, love him as I love him, as much as I love you. I am sure the two of you are inseparable brothers. Sumantri, do not leave or neglect your younger brother Sukrosono. Do not be ashamed to have an ugly younger brother, because he is actually a part of you.”

(This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo).