The Bajang Child Swings on the Moon

Begawan Swandagni seems to have lost patience. His hearing seems to have gone deaf, because he no longer wants to accept anything that goes against his thoughts.

"Sokawati, this ugly child must be removed from before me!" Begawan Swandagni cried fiercely.

"Begawan, this is your son," said Dewi Sokawati. She feels that she has been struck by lightning. And indeed a light is trembles in the sky for a brief moment, but has the chance to drop the stones of the night that can only be seen in sorrow.

"No, Sokawati, he is the child of lust that has infiltrated you and me," Begawan Swandagni retorted.

Also read:

> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (18)

> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (17)

> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (16)

"Didn't you yourself say, that night we were both doing the act of love? Which is then correct, was it an act of love or an act of lust? We are human, Begawan, how can we separate love from lust? You yourself forbade me to bury lust. I then lived it in the act of love, why do you now deny it?”

"I only do the act of love, Sokawati, not the act of lust."

“Begawan, you think as though you are a human without a body. As long as we have bodies, it is impossible for us to deny lust. It is the body that inflames and warms love, Begawan."

"Sokawati, you have become a woman who bows down to lust. You should not say that, because you are the wife of a priest. Do I not always give praise day and night, asking that not only myself, but also you and other humans be free of lust?"

“Begawan, in truth, I do not want to talk about lust. I just want to ask you, if you do not want to accept this ugly child because he is born of lust, how do you know that a handsome son is not born of lust in order that you will want to accept him, at this moment when you reject this ugly child? Answer, Begawan."

And for him, a despicable act is sin. Therefore, it is not enough to cleanse the sin.

Dewi Sokawati can hardly believe her husband's words. For a brief moment, she is silent. From a distance, the call of an engkuk (barbet) is heard. The sound is only the night’s sorrow. Not long afterwards, lightning comes again, making the sky tremble and dropping the black stones again, sending words of sorrow to the lips of Dewi Sokawati.

"Begawan, are you being fair to your own actions? That night, you felt immeasurable pleasure. You let your lust surge until you floundered at the peak of romance. If you are honest, perhaps in that moment you too forgot about love and you simply enjoyed your lust. After seeing this ugly child, you do not want to admit it now. Now you glorify love, and that hasn't been proven at all. Meanwhile, you have actually driven yourself on with lust, and this has been proven. As you say, this ugly child is proof of the wildness

of your lust. You have betrayed your lust, Begawan. Let this dark night that has suddenly come be witness, that you have turned out to be a human who wants only to enjoy the pleasure, but does not want to receive the fruit of its blessing after realizing that the fruit is not as good as you expected. You cannot appreciate the blessing. You curse it. Are you not afraid that the curse will turn into another curse in the future?”

The rain is not formed of drops of water, but drops of fire that lick at anyone.

Dewi Sokawati's lips restrain from uttering harsher words. Actually she wants to continue, if her husband will bear the curse. But her words are already enough. She sees the truth of her words. As her words end, she sees the sky suddenly light up with a cluster of clouds. From the clouds there emerge droplets like rain. But in her eyes, they are not rain. They are droplets that reflect an immeasurably powerful force. Indeed, they are the ragawarsa, the rain of lust that is displaying its power. The rain is not formed of drops of water, but drops of fire that lick at anyone.

Also read:

> The Bajang Child Swings on the Moon (15)

> The Bajang Child Swings on the Moon (13)

“Begawan, do you see those drops of fire? They have come to lick at us. Are you still set on throwing your ugly son away?” asked Sokawati, hoping that her husband would take back his decision.

Begawan Swandagni does not see the drops of fire. He only feels his body growing hot, even though the night grips with cold. The hot air pushes him further and he can no longer control himself.

"How brave you are, Begawan. Why are you being so cruel to your own son? Do you not think your cruelty will turn back on you?" said Dewi Sokawati. Her voice is weak, like someone who is about to give in. She takes the ugly child into her arms. She knows that there is no point arguing with her husband. It is useless arguing with him. She knows that her husband who is refusing the fruit of lust, is actually being gripped by the rain of lust, the ragawarsa. Lust used to warm him with passion and pleasure. Now it fills him with fury and anger. Just as he could not resist lust when it gave him passion and pleasure in the past, now he cannot escape when lust burns him with hatred and anger. Dewi Sokawati feels as though she is not facing her husband anymore, but lust’s anger and tyranny that cannot be contained. She accepts this. Therefore, she no longer asks for anything. She only wants to believe that it is impossible for life to be snatched away from his child. So she goes to the forest on the edge of Jatisrana, holding back her tears.

This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo