Begawan Swandagni feels unable to bear to tell the truth anymore. But he remembers Sumantri's message: not to tell the truth before he is accepted to serve in Maespati. He feels sorry for Sumantri; it seems his dreams are hindered because of what the reality is. Meanwhile, he also feels sorry for Sukrosono if he does not tell the truth. Both are correct. However both of them confuse him. True, he loves his two children. But his love goes wrong when the truth forces him to choose one of them.
Outside the sky is getting dark. Dark clouds and lightning chase one another. Birds fly, looking for shelter. Begawan Swandagni looks at the sky as if holding back his tears. Soon the tears will certainly pour out into heavy rain, which increasingly makes his heart even more restless. He looks at Sukrosono deeply. From his ugly son, honesty radiates like a soft and weak thread of cotton. It is impossible for people to have the heart to lie to such honesty. In a time of lies, honesty hurts, and the wound can make anyone fall. But strangely, honesty seems to keep pushing, so that people want to be honest and right with their lies, even though this will hurt them even more. Begawan Swandagni is pressed by the honesty until it is exposed that he is right with his lie.
"Your older brother is hunting a tiger, my son."
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> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (58)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (57)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (56)
This reasoning just slips from the mouth of Begawan Swandagni. He cannot think anymore. What is there to say? The honesty of this ugly child has trapped him in a lie. And for a moment he feels safe in his lie.
"You’re not lying to me, father?" Sukrosono insists.
“The tiger has disturbed the rural area around the hermitage. People are afraid of it. Sumantri wants to help them. He is hunting the tiger. But it seems the tiger is not an ordinary tiger. Maybe because of that, it is difficult for your older brother to catch it. No wonder he has not returned to Jatisrana until now." Begawan Swandagni says as if he is not lying about anything.
"A tiger, father?" Sukrosono asks in disbelief.
"Yes, son. A tiger! And not an ordinary tiger."
I have become a tiger, my son. Why do you have the heart to curse me?
Suddenly, as the word tiger comes out of Begawan Swandagni's mouth, the sound of the thunder is heard in the sky. The sky's balcony opens. And the lightning is dashing around, entering the Jatisrana hermitage. The hurricane comes violently. The wind continues to swirl the dark clouds into a tiger cloud. Along with the sound of the heavy rain falling, the thunder in the sky no longer booms but roars. Terrified, Begawan Swandagni touches his face, hands and body and feels his skin. And not long after that, he is knocked to the ground. He lies unconscious. And as soon as he regains consciousness, he has turned into a tiger! He is surprised beyond measure.
“I have become a tiger, my son. Why do you have the heart to curse me?” shouts Begawan Swandagni rolling haplessly around like a tiger. Sukrosono is unsurprised. He stares at his father with conviction.
"I don't have the power to curse you, father. You are cursed by your own lies. You're a priest. You shouldn't lie, right? Lies don't match your dignity as a priest. But you want to be deceived by lies, which lie to you with a tiger. In the end, it is lies that have turned you into a tiger, father. Your own words go back to you and make you an unusual tiger." This answer sounds as though it were not from Sukrosono's mouth. Indeed, in reality, those answers are words that come out of the honesty that is hurt by his father's lies.
"Forgive me, son. Send me back to where I come from," laments Begawan Swandagni.
"Father, don't apologize to me. It is not to me that you are guilty. You are guilty because of your own honesty, father," says Sukrosono.
"Indeed, son, I have lied to you. Actually, your older brother went away because he wanted to serve in the kingdom of Maespati," says Begawan Swandagni in regret.
"And you know why he won't take me. You know he's ashamed because I'm ugly. You don't want to tell me what you know, father. In fact, you know. I don't want to be separated from my older brother again."
“I tried to prevent him from leaving without you. But he would not listen."
"There was no need for you to lie to me, father."
Also read:
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (55)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (54)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (53)
Begawan Swandagni is silent. He feels that once he falls into lying, the lies continue to grip him. The lies go one after the other. Even if they seem not to be related, one lie will give birth to another lie. He does not know why it happens so. But he is confident it will happen. He also feels his lies are the beginning of a catastrophe that will be lengthy. Furthermore, disasters will happen as though they are competing against each other because of it. Now those lies have made him a tiger. He never imagined that honesty would expose his lies until he saw who he really was, a tiger. Is this an invisible beast, when he feels holy, just because he is a priest? Begawan Swandagni is very sad to think about this. He does nothing, except to accept the catastrophe. And he looks far away and makes sure that later the lies will certainly lead to new devastation again.
“Sukrosono, what should I do? How can I recover?” says Begawan Swandagni in an almost desperate tone.
"I don't know, father. Maybe only my older brother can restore you," Sukrosono replies.
“Sumantri?” shouts Begawan Swandagni.
"Yes, father, Sumantri, your son," says Sukrosono.
"Sumantri, wait for me, I will follow you, son!" shouts Begawan Swandagni. He is indescribably sad as soon as he realizes that these are the last words he will be able to say. Now, he can only roar. He speeds off with the strides of a tiger, leaving Jatisrana, the holy place he had inhabited almost all his life.
This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo.
