The moon is far off in the sky, but Sukrosono feels as though the moon is leaping in front of him, inviting him to play, to chase one another. The moon takes him back to his childhood,
By
Sindhunata
·7 minutes read
The blue sky stretches, clean and silent. The herons fly to and fro, like the trembling, dancing buds of the menur flower. Where are the footprints of the herons to be found? This is also the question Sukrosono once asked when he left Jatirasa forest for Jatisrana. This question was always running, never fing a satisfactory answer.
Now his heart is open, he has found a simple answer: Wherever they are sought, the footprints of the heron will never been found. The bird’s footprints do not exist. So he feels that golekana tapake kuntul anglayang (seeking the heron’s footprints), is the secret wealth of sejatining rasa (true sense). Like a heron in flight that leaves behind no footprints, his life must be without any trace of his act of self-giving. If it still leaves a trace, his self-giving is not complete. Now he understands that he still feels disappointed, also towards his brother, because he still wants to leave behind a trace of his self-giving. This comprehension has given him relief. He looks at the herons, and the sky appears as a beautiful garden full of menur buds. He wants to fly with the birds across the expansive sky, feeling the lightness of a life that doesn't want to leave any trace behind, sinking into the limitlessness of self-giving.
It is the night of the full moon. This is the time for the sacred moon to appear. Among the waves of white clouds, the moon slips in like a rabbit. The moon is far off in the sky, but Sukrosono feels as though the moon is leaping in front of him, inviting him to play, to chase one another. The moon takes him back to his childhood, as it was for him in Jatirasa forest. At that time, he did not know what it felt to be in trouble, though he lived alone. He spent his days playing with the young of the forest animals. Now, the happiness of his childhood has returned. He feels that he can do whatever he wants with his childhood happiness.
He is confident that with this happiness, he can also catch the moon. So he chases the moon, and he manages to catch it. He then swings the moon around. The moon is also happy to swing. While he is swinging the moon, the sky also joins in to give him a thousand moons. He picks up the moon, like picking up a pumpkin, and tosses the moon here and there, thereby making the night of the full moon perfect. On this blissful night of the full moon, he feels all things are awash in the light of the sacred moon. And his memories of the hill of Taranggana Sekar, where he met Semar who was in a vague state, come back to him. Now, when he is so close to the moon, his life seems to be growing increasingly vague. He is even sure that one day he will be swallowed up in the vagueness to disappear completely. To him, that night the sacred moon teaches him that his life has passed various paths, but his life will only have one destination in the end, to disappear in the vagueness. At that moment, he is startled awake to the realization that the time will come when he disappears completely into the vagueness. And at the same time that he feels this moment so closely, the moon breaks away from his swinging his hand.
The moon is back in the sky again. Guided by its soft glow, he arrives under a banyan tree. He sees the roots of the banyan tree sticking out, creeping towards a spring. There is a melodious sound of splashing water amid the loud chirping song of the crickets. He knows the sound of the splashing water very well. It is the sound of the splashing waterfall among the bamboo reeds that he always remembers. Without thinking long, he descends to let the water from the bamboo reed shower wash over him. He also bathes in the splashes of his past memories. It was under this bamboo reed shower that he met his brother. In the fresh water, he often bathed and played with his older brother. The splashing water refreshes his memory of the beautiful times when he lived with his older brother in Jatisrana. He sees the splashing water jumping up like pearls, beautifully reflected in the soft glow of the full moon. He feels that the bamboo reed shower still splashes like it did before, when he and his older brother felt no more sorrow because it was impossible for them to be separated. Why then did they have to separate, if the water that united them still flows as before, always sprinkling joy in the same unchanged way?
CAHYO HERYUNANTO
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The bamboo reed shower then brings back his memories in Jatirasa forest, where his mother first met him and told him about his origins. Now in this bamboo reed shower, he therefore feels reborn. Back then, at the time of his mother's mitoni ceremony, held during the seventh month of the first pregnancy, he was like a coconut that had been cast aside because his father didn't like it. His mother insisted on keeping it, and then took the coconut to this bamboo reed shower. As she bathed in the shower, his mother rubbed the rejected coconut against her breasts. The coconut cracked, giving her body a sensation of great warmth. His mother was confident that it was a sign that he was in her womb. He was no longer to be cast away, and lived safely in his mother's womb until the time came when he was born into the world.
The moonlight opened her mother's breasts, which were like the petals of a padma (lotus) flower, so he might bury his head between them. The warmth seemed to permeate his body and brought him back to his mother's womb. There, he knew, he was a golden banana peel that was united with its flesh. His mother had swallowed the peel and flesh of the golden banana together. In the warmth of his mother's womb, he felt that it was his destiny that he would never be separated from his older brother Sumantri, no matter what events would befall him in life.
He emerged from the bamboo reed shower, feeling that he was gripped by a heavy longing. His longing now was different from how it used to be. Now he longs to see the end of the destiny of his birth. This longing is so deep, he doesn't know how to satisfy it, except with the feeling during his childhood of not wanting to be left alone. And to whom can he spill his childhood feelings except to his older brother, Sumantri? He wanted to recline in his older brother’s lap and listen to that song again: “Look at that kepodang (oriole)”.
He sees dewdrops on the grass. Dawn has come, and in the trees the cries of the kepodang are heard. The birds then take flight and he joins them, flying with the wings of his longing. The kepodang fly a long time, and when the birds have disappeared, he descends to the ground. He knows he has set foot on the border of the country of Maespati to find his older brother Sumantri again.
