Sumantri is touched by his younger brother's request. He strokes his younger brother with great affection. “Sukrosono, forget all that. You're tired. Go to sleep, my younger brother, I will accompany you," says Sumantri while letting Sukrosono lie comfortably on his lap.
Night has come. And Sumantri also describes again their happiness in Jatisrana to accompany his younger brother's sleep. Sukrosono is very happy to hear his older brother's story. One by one his beautiful memories with his older brother in Jatisrana come back. He is full of smiles. And drowsiness overtakes him, like it used to be every time he heard his brother speak. He cannot hold back his sleep anymore, and he falls fast asleep in his older brother's lap.
The night is dark. Astonishingly, Sumantri can see his younger brother’s face clearly. The face flashes a smile. And its light illuminates Sumantri to know his personality in the past, when he was a baby in his mother's lap. At that time he should have shared his mother's breasts with his younger brother. However, his younger brother was thrown away somewhere so that only he could feel the love. Now is really the time when he can again share the love he once wholly enjoyed. His younger brother who is now asleep in his lap seems to be asking for his love. With regard to this his younger brother does not say anything, but from his face he looks as though he is a baby begging for love.
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> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (64)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (63)
Sumantri cannot bear to see such a face. Because the light from that face penetrates his heart. And from the deepest mind, his own heart forces Sumantri to confess, he is actually a person who has no love. Once again, he is assaulted by his own shame. He gets angry. It is not clear who he should be angry with. It seems as though he can be angry with anyone and anything. And when he cannot control it, anger finally becomes a way for the powers of darkness to enter him. It does not take long, the darkness has completely controlled him. And that darkness offers the only light, namely his ambition to pursue glory, greatness and majesty.
So under the light of the darkness he decides he must go to Maespati. And the darkness says, nothing should be a hindrance to his noble ideals. Sumantri is really blinded by the darkness. There is nothing else to consider, except that right now he has to depart to pursue his dream. For a moment he looks at his younger brother. But his heart is too empty to be able to give the love his younger brother asks for. Therefore he has the heart to remove his younger brother's head from his lap. And he gets up and immediately continues his journey to Maespati. It is so easy for his decision to change, when the power of darkness has possessed him through anger and shame over him.
In his deep sleep, Sukrosono turns his body from side to side, where his hands try to hug his brother. He just embraces emptiness. And it is this emptiness that wakes him up. He soon realizes, his older brother is no longer by his side.
“My older brother, you finally lie to me again. How can you have the heart to leave me," Sukrosono says quietly. And his tears fall. His deepest sadness turns out to be able to summon the moon. Sukrosono is surprised, because it is the first time for him to be able to see the rising of the moon. He often sees the rising of the sun. But for the rising of the moon, only now can he see. The moon is visible in the distance. It is rising slowly with its reddish light. As it rises higher, the reddish light disappears, replaced by a white light. And along with the white light that is getting brighter and brighter, layer by layer of Sukrosono's sadness seems to disappear. When the moon becomes completely bright, not a single sorrow remains. Sukrosono's sadness has been swallowed up by the moon. And Sukrosono is brought into the vagueness, as he had experienced in Taranggana Sekar. This is the time when the moon brings back Semar's message, “My son, a time will come when you have to live in the truest of the vagueness. There you will be lost because you have to give your whole life in sincerity. Be happy when the time comes when you are truly guided by the truest of the vagueness."
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> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (62)
> The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (61)
Sukrosono feels that happiness. He no longer weeps his sorrow. He feels happy, now when he is emptied of everything, also from his older brother's love, which he always asks for. He is really happy, when he feels really ready to experience that life is actually giving, not asking.
“My older brother, I will always accompany you. And I will give my life for you," says Sukrosono sincerely and happily.
That night Sukrosono stays with the moon. He is alone, but he does not feel alone. The moon gives him comfort. And it accompanies him until dawn. When the sun rises with its reddish light, then the moon disappears. Morning comes, and the clear sky opens. Without waiting for a long time, Sukrosono rushes to fly. He feels so light. Because in the sky that is quiet and desolate, he again finds the footprints of a flying egret.
This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo.
