The Bajang Child Swinging the Moon (50)

Dawn arrives the following day. The day breaks along with the crowing of the rooster. Sukrosono hurriedly gets up. The fragrant smell of incense passes gently through the air. His father is performing morning meditation in the shrine. He stands up on hearing Sukrosono's steps. Not long after, Sumantri approaches.

"Father, I am leaving this morning. Please give me your blessing once more," Sukrosono said, prostrating himself before his father.

"Go my son, and tell your mother I yearn for her," said Begawan Swandagni. He is amazed at why he is so sure that Sukrosono will see his mother. Isn't his wife, Dewi Sokawati, dead? Perhaps his message is an expression that he too cannot wait to follow his beloved wife soon. Is he impatient to die? He embraces Sukrosono and suddenly, he feels as though he has no meaning anymore. Because of this, he now has the courage to face death. Slowly, his tears fall.

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"Father, don't be sad. Is it not a certainty that I will return shortly?" said Sukrosono, unable to bear seeing his father's sorrow. But the sorrow also gives him happiness. Because in that sorrow, he feels how much his father loves him. What else must he seek? Isn't love the only thing he needs in life? If so, is it still necessary for him to go to Mount Taranggana Sekar?

Begawan Swandagni can read his son's doubt. So he says, “My son, go now. Have no doubt in your heart. You must fulfill your mother's request. Do not disappoint her so she is filled with sorrow in the realm where she waits."

"Sukrosono, go. Be strong at heart," said Sumantri, who had been silent all the while.

"Do you really not want to come with me, older brother?" Sukrosono asked.

"No, Sukrosono. I beg the gods that you have a safe journey,” says Sumatri, embracing his younger brother.

Sukrosono does not want to release himself for the warm embrace of his older brother. He gets up in a rush to depart so he can return as soon as possible to again enjoy his older brother’s embrace. The sun is starting to rise. Sukrosono does not want to delay any longer. He leaves. His steps are light, as light as the drops of morning dew that fall on the serrated leaves of the kaniri tree.

In this life are many new paths that must be taken if humans still seek something newer.

Sukrosono departs. His steps are very light because he goes without burden. His journey this time is different from when he walked to Jatisrana hermitage. He used to go forth in seek of something, now he leaves only so he can return. In his heart he says, what else will I seek when I have the love I want? In this life, what is more than love? If he has that love to enjoy, what else is there to seek? In this life, yearning cannot be extinguished. However, he feels that longing will turn off on its own once it has found love. In this life are many new paths that must be taken if humans still seek something newer. But is it still necessary to take a new path if the path to love has already been taken?

Sukrosono does not yet know whither or whether he will reach Mount Taranggana Sekar. However, he already knows whither and whether affection has bloomed. This is what lightens his steps. He holds onto the hope that there, he will see his mother again. However, he will not be disappointed if that wish does not come true. He will still be grateful that it was his mother who enabled him to find his beloved father and older brother again. Gratitude is what supports his journey to Mount Taranggana Sekar.

His journey is enjoyable. Especially with his father's directions, his journey will even be easier. Nature seems to always give way for Sukrosono. He walks alongside the river, his heart flowing with the currents of the water. When he climbs the cliffs of the mountain, the gadung (climbing yam) offer their vines as handholds. When he is tired, the banyan trees always provide him with shade. Along the way, he can pick all the fruits he wants. And his heart is constantly immersed in the beautiful song of the chirping, colorful birds. He becomes very familiar with all the elements of nature. And nature seems to have known him for a long time. It seems that he and the nature he travels through have no secrets. Along the way, Sukrosono feels that his heart is satisfied if he is aware of the love that fills him. The love he has experienced can even make nature roll back the curtains of his sorrow and pave the way for Sukrosono’s easy and smooth journey to Mount Taranggana Sekar.

Sukrosono arrives at Taranggana Sekar at dawn. Not long afterwards, the morning breaks. And he can see his surroundings very clearly. He can hardly believe that he has reached his destination. There is nothing special in that place except for a banana tree that grows there. If there were no banana tree, he would have simply left. He looks pointedly at the banana tree. He recalls all the stories he heard from his mother and father about that banana tree. He traverses all the fantasies and images he had about it. None have succeeded in giving him any special impression of the tree that bore the golden banana his mother had desired when he was still in her womb. The tree is just an ordinary banana tree. Sukrosono does not feel his hope fade. Hasn't he come here seeking nothing else?

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So if he has found nothing here, why must he feel disappointed? The banana tree makes him feel empty and blank. Empty of all his imaginings, empty of all his hopes. Surprisingly, the emptiness and blankness gives him immense relief. For a moment he fantasizes that he will still see his mother. But his mother is not here. He asks, can it be that my mother has sent me here so I can experience this relaxing emptiness? He allows himself to dissolve in the emptiness, and the emptiness leads him into meditation.

(This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo).