Understanding the Meaning of Forgiving Each Other on Eid

Keeping in touch and forgiving each other during Eid needs to be a form of self-reflection.

Fostering relationships and forgiving one another have become a culture during every Idul Fitri holiday in Indonesia. Regardless of the timing, forgiveness is something that is not easy to do. Without full awareness, the tradition of Eid al-Fitr will only be a meaningless moment that is repeated every year.

The tradition of forgiving has been attached to the Eid al-Fitr moment in Indonesia. At this moment, people flock to visit relatives' homes to stay in touch and apologize.

The cultural traces of this tradition can also be traced from the early era of independence. One of them is a song created by Ismail Marzuki entitled "Happy Eid". This song explicitly describes the culture of friendship and mutual forgiveness practiced by Indonesian society at that time.

However, outside the context of tradition and culture, this Halalbihalal event needs to be a reflective moment. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do. Without deep meaning, the process of forgiving will only become an empty annual ritual.

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Aristotle's Meaning

Efforts to interpret the giving of sorry have been made since the third century BC. In his works, for example Nicomacea Ethics and Rhetoric, the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle touched on forgiveness.

The meaning of forgiveness in Aristotle's understanding is rooted in his view of society and government. According to this philosopher, politicians and city governments are the most relevant analytical units because they are the ones who can make policies for the happiness of the community. Therefore, the act of forgiveness or pardon is interpreted from a structuralist perspective.

The tradition of forgiving is attached to the Eid al-Fitr moment in Indonesia.

Aristotle's discussion of forgiveness in his work is closely related to the aspects of law and justice. Therefore, for Aristotle, the act of forgiving can only be done with certain preconditions. For example, before being forgiven, the guilty party must make efforts to rectify their wrongdoing.

For Aristotle, forgiveness is not an obligation. Moreover, if forgiving can't lead to happy feelings. In fact, this philosopher believes that mistakes made intentionally deserve to be punished.

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Sincere forgiveness

This understanding was later developed and refuted by other, more modern philosophers. Immanuel Kant, for example, in his work, Metaphysics of Morals, published in 1797, argued that the act of forgiveness is one part of a person's "obligations" in society. In the philosophy of virtue ethics (virtue ethics), the act of forgiveness is part of an individual's duty to love others.

For Kant, forgiveness is a personal response to the mistakes of others, which includes efforts to overcome hatred and the desire for revenge. Kant firmly divides the realms of legalism and morality.

In the context of the law, Kant does not oppose the importance of punishing criminals in accordance with applicable provisions. However, in the realm of morality, this philosopher believes that, although hurt, the victim does not have the right to judge and impose punishment on the person who has wronged them.

Nevertheless, Kant also sets a limit for those who repeatedly make mistakes. According to Kant, an individual has a moral obligation to not forgive someone who commits a mistake but does not repent from their actions. This obligation is related to the respect for one's dignity as a rational being.

Apart from Kant, the French philosopher, Jacques Derrida, refuted the meaning of this effort to forgive. In his work, On Cosmopolitanism and Forgiveness, published in 2001, Derrida separates the essence of forgiveness or giving forgiveness from themes that are often intertwined with it, such as regret, alibi, amnesty, reconciliation, penance, repentance, and law. criminal.

In this context, the many concepts attached to forgiveness actually make the act of mutual forgiveness become transactional and lose its purity.

The meaning of giving forgiveness continues to be explored by Derrida in his work entitled To Forgive: The Unforgivable and the Imprescriptible.

In it, this philosopher departs from the etymology of the word sorry in English (pardon). After tracing, the word pardon comes from Middle Latin per- (whole) and donare (to give). In this context, the many concepts attached to forgiveness actually make the act of mutual forgiveness transactional.

From the research, Derrida concluded that forgiveness is rooted in the act of giving wholly. In interpreting the act of giving forgiveness, Derrida believed that it should be given sincerely without any embellishments.

More extreme than Kant, Derrida's view on forgiveness is to grant pardon to all forms of crime without condition, even without the guilty party giving an apology.

The concept of forgiveness proposed by Kant and Derrida is in line with Islamic teachings. In Islam, granting forgiveness is part of the goodness and blessings bestowed by the forgiver to the wrongdoer. The commandment to forgive others' mistakes is explicitly written in the Quran, one of which can be found in QS Al Imran Verse 134.

Furthermore, in line with Kant's argument, Islam also emphasizes the attitude of refraining from retaliatory actions. For instance, QS Al Hijr verse 95 implicitly commands to not retaliate against received wrongdoings.

Also read: Eid Al-Fitr, Religious and Political Joy

Benefits of forgiving

As humans, it is not easy to forgive according to moral standards and religious teachings. Professor of Psychology Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, whose research focuses on the theme of forgiveness, believes that forgiving is not easy for some people. The reluctance to forgive is a normal response experienced by people who have suffered trauma due to the actions of others.

However, despite these difficulties, forgiveness can actually have a positive impact. Forgiving has great benefits for mental health.

The Enright study in 2015 in a maximum security prison showed that most inmates diagnosed with depression and receiving psychological treatment were able to forgive the mistreatment they received during their imprisonment, and recover. Meanwhile, inmates who did not receive similar psychological treatment still suffered from depression.

The benefits of forgiveness were also confirmed by the Dean of the Faculty of Medicine, National Veterans Development University, Jakarta, Taufiq Pasiak. In his interview with Kompas, Sunday (7/4/2024), the act of forgiveness triggers various hormones, such as dopamine, oxytocin and cortisol.

When someone forgives, the hormones oxytocin and dopamine are released, causing a feeling of relief and happiness. Meanwhile, the stress-related hormone cortisol becomes less active.

So, in this Eid moment, let's forgive with meaning. Saying minal aidzin wal faidzin, apologizing physically and mentally, cannot stop at the mouth.

Because, besides being a virtue in religion, forgiving and comprehending it entirely can also be a first step to restore one's soul. (KOMPAS Research)

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