Working in Good Conscience for Child Victims of Violence

KOMPAS/RENY SRI AYU ARMAN

Nuraeni

Living in a densely populated coastal settlement, Nuraeni frequently witnessed children becoming victims of violence. Watching children using offensive language and being subjected to parental and neighborhood abuse, sexual violence and harassment, Nuraeni was deeply disturbed.

Her concern and conscience as a mother motivated Nuraeni to help the children. This was intended to prevent them from getting even worse and later committing acts of violence as well.

Also read:

The Defender of the Victims of Violence

So, in 2013, Nuraeni started gathering youngsters at her home in Patingalloang subdistrict, Ujung Tanah district, Makassar, South Sulawesi. Her target covered the primary school to senior high school age bracket.

In her moderate-sized sitting room, Nuraeni invited them to assemble. She formed a study group that would later be named Sekolah Anak Percaya Diri (SAPD), a kind of informal education for self-confidence.

The children were taught to observe good conduct, manners, etiquette, mutual sympathy and appreciation. They were also learning various skills according to their interest and talent. They were motivated to study and

recover their self-confidence, as well as their courage to speak about the violence they had experienced or seen.

“The violence they had undergone made their behavior akin to violence, too. Children of the primary school level were even used to uttering abusive remarks. They could easily bully their friends and treat them harshly. Most of them had no self-confidence at all,” said Nuraeni when visited at home on Friday (11/3/2022).

Under such a situation, they were still faced with their parents’ noisy quarrels and brawls.

Nuraeni said the parents of some children consumed narcotics or habitually got drunk. Not infrequently, these children were forced to work and the money was spent by their parents on drugs or strong drinks. They received rough treatment if they failed to take home some money. Under such a situation, they were still faced with their parents’ noisy quarrels and brawls.

This prompted Nuraeni to intervene. In the beginning, she alone was teaching the children as far as her capacity and time allowed while taking care of her three children and handling the activity of micro, small and medium enterprises (MSME) she had been engaged in for over 15 years.

She set aside her money to buy simple teaching aids for children’s studies. Occasionally she bought candy or chips to attract more children. Time and time again she bought the cakes peddled by children who were asked to help their parents, to be eaten together so that the children could join the learning session and take home the money they earned.

“Many disadvantaged children had to help their parents make a living. I had no way of forbidding them. So, I would just help them by buying whatever could be bought. I adjusted the learning time to their study activity in public schools and their time to help their parents,” she said.

Challenge and support

At first, Nuraeni received cynical responses from parents of the children. This was even more the case with parents obligating their children to help earn a living.

“They had complaints now and again about the children. They were asked to be polite, avoid offensive words, but they watched their parents or neighbors quarreling and using abusive words. They also saw their parents commit violent acts. However, I did not give up. I kept giving understanding and teaching them all good things,” she said

Nuraeni perseverance not only resulted in the understanding of parents and the children she had taught. The children also gradually changed in behavior. They did not swear as much. Returning from school, they spent more time in the house of Nuraeni, doing school homework or just reading. The house was almost never quiet from morning to evening with many children around.

When a lot more children joined SAPD and she felt overwhelmed, Nuraeni searched for assistants. She thought that with an increasing number of children, teachers, a curriculum and adequate learning facilities were needed.

KOMPAS/RENY SRI AYU ARMAN

Nuraeni

In fact, originally SAPD had only 10 to 20 children. Now it has more than 150. Some of them have moved on, many others are new members. Eventually, many parents have chosen to let their children learn in Nuraeni’s house.

In a welcoming gesture, Nuraeni’s effort to find a sponsor for support was finally rewarded. Since 2017, Pertamina Sulawesi has provided full support by making available teachers, a curriculum, various learning facilities and a psychologist. Nuraeni’s sitting room has also been reordered to suit the need for children’s activity.

A psychologist’s guidance not only offers counseling but also monitors children’s development. Every month an evaluation is conducted to find out what improvements should be made.

“Thus, there are now teachers with the special capacity of guiding children of primary school, junior high school and senior high school levels, especially those who have been victims of violence. Although this is informal education, the curriculum is better composed and designed for the children’s needs with the psychologist’s direction,” explained Nuraeni.

Nuraeni observes SAPD children’s gradual transformation of their behavior. They not only sympathize with each other, engage in mutual assistance, but also develop higher self-confidence.

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Honing Special Children

Those of the senior high school age group actively join children’s forum of development plan consultation. Some of them often participate in training and discussions on child abuse. Many have also appeared with self-confidence in art and cultural events at the invitation of different parties.

“Many children learning here have finally ventured to teach their parents to improve literacy and recite Koranic verses. Fortunately, their parents accept this openheartedly. They have eventually also assumed a better attitude toward their children whose behavior has considerably improved,” said Nuraeni.

Lately, the children’s parents have also been empowered by Nuraeni. They are invited to religious meetings and follow routine Quran recitation sessions. On such occasions, Nuraeni gives some input and understanding to these parents. They are also involved in Nuraeni’s business.

Before being converted into a cooperative, this business was initiated by Nuraeni in 2005 after her husband’s death in 2004.

Over the last 15 years, Nuraeni has also empowered women, particularly widows, by having them participate in the Fatimah Azzahra Fisherwomen’s Cooperative. Before being converted into a cooperative, this business was initiated by Nuraeni in 2005 after her husband’s death in 2004.

Her concern over coastal women prompted her to involve them and the cooperative was finally formed. This cooperative produces fried minced fish and various processed sea products. They also opened catering business. These women are not only engaged in cooperative business but also in social activity, such as providing food for elderly and neglected people, as well as empowering people with disabilities. Three percent of Nuraeni’s income is earmarked for this social activity.

Nuraeni

Born:August 6, 1969

Husband:Rusdi Ambo

Children: Dinur, 28, Russil, 26, Haidi, 23

Education: Bachelor of Public Administration, School of Social and Political Sciences, Hasanuddin University, Makassar

Occupation: Chairperson of Fatimah Azzahra Cooperative

(This article was translated by Aris Prawira).