Dewi Citrawati realizes that love happens without a reason. She believes that it is not love if she is still looking and blindly searching for a reason as to why she is in love. This also makes her feel unashamed to love Sumantri, even though she must lower her status. She is the daughter of a king, so she deserves a proposal from a king as well. So why does she want to love Sumantri, who is a mere servant? She does not want to argue this issue, because in her heart she feels that it is impossible for love to distinguish between kings and servants. And love will never feel defeated or humiliated simply because she loves a servant. After all, why should she humiliate Sumantri just because of his status as a servant?
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In thinking thus, she even feels her admiration increase for Sumantri. It is not his lord, Prabu Arjunasasrabahu, but Sumantri who defeated Prabu Darmawasesa so that she could be brought to Maespati. If he truly loved her and felt that she was his soul mate, why didn't the King of Maespati come himself to propose to her and fulfill all her wishes? In Dewi Citrawati’s eyes, it is not the King of Maespati but Sumantri who has the right to possess her. But then again, none of these were the reason why she loves Sumantri. Whether he is a servant or king, whether he is worthy or not, she must admit that it is only Sumantri to whom she wants to give her heart.
Actually, she doesn't have to suffer too much. Because it is not difficult for her to meet Sumantri, even to be alone with him. She is surprised about this herself. She asks why her husband, Prabu Arjunasasrabahu, is not the least bit suspicious. It is even not uncommon for her husband to ask Sumantri to accompany him if he wishes to take a walk in Sriwedari Garden. Is her husband completely incapable of sensing what is in her heart? Or maybe her husband knows, but deliberately allows whatever she wants. If so, then what could be the reason? Maybe it is because her husband loves her so much that he doesn't want to get in the way of what she wants. Or does her husband actually know but deliberately turning a blind eye so he won't hurt Sumantri's heart? This is highly likely. Because it is not only him, but many people in Maespati also know that their king truly loves Sumantri who has been given the title Mahapatih Suwondo. They have known this since Sumantri first came to Maespati.
How can a king like Prabu Arjunasasrabahu suddenly want to raise a village boy from Jatisrana hermitage to the rank of a great warlord, if not for his love for him? Sumantri has not at all proven the reliability of his supernatural powers. How could he suddenly decide to appoint Sumantri as a high envoy to Magada to propose to its sekar kedaton, Dewi Citrawati, who was fought over by a thousand kings? This could only happen because he truly loves Sumantri. And when news on the defeat of King Widarba, Prabu Darmawasesa, reached Maespati, he was so pleased. And the people of Maespati saw how their king rejoiced because of Sumantri's service and greatness. But it was also seen then, how the king’s rejoicing over Sumantri seemed to exceed that of his people, who rejoiced because Dewi Citrawati could finally be brought to become the queen of Maespati. Many people of Maespati were surprised and wondered at why their king loved Sumantri so much. But no one knows the answer, and Dewi Citrawati is no exception.
Arjunasasrabahu indeed does not truly love her and only sees her as his soul mate, why did he have to bind her as his queen?
So Dewi Citrawati often asks herself, does her husband really love her? And when her doubts peak, she is tempted to suspect that her husband loves Sumantri more than he loves her. At such times, she likes to look towards the roof of her palace. She sees the katanga flower falling from the roof of the castle because of the wind. Usually, the princesses of the palace like to pick up the fallen katangga flowers to decorate her hair, styled in a bun, to add to her beauty. But for Dewi Citrawati, the falling katangga flowers only makes her sad. She feels that she is not worth the regard, like a flower that has fallen to the ground. If Prabu Arjunasasrabahu indeed does not truly love her and only sees her as his soul mate, why did he have to bind her as his queen?
In asking this, she feels how useless her life is, even though she is the queen of the king. Then the feeling sends her into a daydream. And in her dream realm, Sumantri is the only person who comes and who can comfort her in her sadness and loneliness.
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She plucks a white campaka flower in the palace courtyard. She inhales deeply the flower’s fragrance. It is very aromatic. Then she places the flower in her hair. How beautiful she is. She imagines how happy Sumantri will be if he could see her adorned with a campaka flower in her hair. Isn't her skin as white and smooth as a campaka flower? The sweet scent of the campaka flower will spread from her body. Will it not be impossible for Sumantri not to inhale it? Because of its fragrance, the bees like to land on the campaka flower. It is possible that Sumantri can stop himself from approaching her while her white body is fragrant with the scent of the campaka flower. Before it blooms, the campaka flower’s beauty is stored in its bud. Why should it bloom if people cannot appreciate its beauty? Let her beauty be invisible to the people, as long as Sumantri wants to enjoy it. And there is no other path there, unless she and Sumantri want to hide in a blanket of love and stay in its warmth.
With her husband’s permission, she asks Sumantri several times to accompany her on a walk in Sriwedari. On such occasions, she wants to give expression to her dream in words and convey them to Sumantri. But every time she tries to say these words, they become stuck inside her mouth. She is ashamed. But why must she be ashamed, she does not know. She just feels that the more ashamed she feels, the more he feels how much she loves Sumantri. And she is confident that Sumantri feels the same way that she does. Because of this, she simply remains silent as she and Sumantri sit together under the trees of Sriwedari Garden. Just like her, Sumantri is also incapable of speech. She thinks in her heart, maybe that's love. Having a thousand words when far away, but not having a single word when they are close to each other. Just like the birds that chatter loudly as they are returning to their nests at dusk but then soon become silent, losing their vigor in the warmth of their nests at night. Indeed she has no words, but she feels the warmth when Sumantri sits beside her.
(This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo).
