Mother Cleans Graves so Children can Eat

KOMPAS/FAJAR RAMADHAN

Tati Budi (60) while cleaning the grave at TPU Karet Bivak, Central Jakarta, Thursday (17/12/2020). For three years, this mother of four has cleaned the graves here every day.

Tati Budi, 60, immediately stood up when she saw visitors enter through the gate of the Karet Bivak Public Cemetery in Central Jakarta on Wednesday (16/12/2020). She then followed them to their intended grave.

Apparently, she was not alone. There, five other grave cleaners were already ready to offer their services. The six of them began sweeping, uprooting weeds and washing the grave as soon as the visitors allowed them to.

Once I only got Rp 5,000 in a day

After everything was clean, one of the visitors took out a Rp 5,000 note from his pocket and gave the money to one of the grave cleaners. The money was then divided equally among the five other cleaners. "I immediately went away so that the money could be divided at Rp 1,000 for each of the five people. If I was there, it would be Rp 800 per person. It\'s hard to share it,” said Tati on Thursday (17/12), narrating an experience on the previous day when she was willing to give in.

Tati has not experienced this just once or twice. She used to only receive thanks after cleaning graves.

"When it was quiet, one grave could be surrounded by more than 10 grave cleaners. No matter how much has been given, it still has to be shared. Once I only got Rp 5,000 in a day," she said.

Also read: Voices of Strong Women amid Pandemic

KOMPAS/FAJAR RAMADHAN

Karet Bivak Public Cemetery, Central Jakarta

This cleaning fee is very important for the mother of four. Why? She is the backbone of her family along with her second son. Her role is even more crucial because her son, who works as an online motorcycle taxi driver, now serves significantly fewer passengers. Meanwhile, her husband, who retired 12 years ago, suffers from gout, thereby preventing him from doing many activities.

More than sixty years old, Tati has to keep working as a grave cleaner from Monday to Sunday. She has to struggle to pay for her third child’s studies at the Open University. Her youngest son, who just graduated from high school, is also going to go to college.

None of the family members know that Tati works as a grave cleaner. As far as they know, their mother has been working as a park janitor.

Alternative sales

Uum Ratnasari, 30, is also desperately making a living amid the pandemic. The mother of Raihan, 11, takes turns looking after the family grocery shop in Karet Tengsin, Jakarta, every day with her husband.

Also read: Mother\'s Day and the New Order

She is in charge of tending the shop from 06:30 a.m. to 05:00 p.m., the rest of the hours are covered by her husband. They both take turns with Uum\'s brother every three months. When they are not selling, they return to their hometown in Kuningan, West Java.

KOMPAS/FAJAR RAMADHAN

Uum Ratnasari (30) with her son Raihan (11) waiting for a buyer at her shop on Jalan KH Mas Manshur Karet Tengsin, Central Jakarta, Thursday (17/12/2020).

The pandemic has caused their income to fall from around Rp 700,000 per day to Rp 200,000 per day. Uum must save her income to live for three months in the village.

"It\'s hard. I couldn\'t send money to Raihan. Finally, I invited him here so he wasn’t a burden for his grandmother," she said.

Uum also has to pay for Raihan’s internet quota while he studies online. She buys Raihan an internet quota of Rp 25,000 to study for three days.

It\'s hard. I couldn\'t send money to Raihan. Finally, I invited him here so he wasn’t a burden for his grandmother.

Distance learning also made Daryati, 43, a tailor in Cakung Barat, East Jakarta, arrive at work two hours later than usual because she had to accompany her youngest daughter to study at home. "I have to teach the children at home," she said.

KOMPAS/FAJAR RAMADHAN

Daryati (43), a resident of Rusunawa Albo Blok B in Cakung Barat, East Jakarta, is sewing a bag at a work house, Thursday (17/12/2020).

Tailoring is Daryati’s only source of income for her family since her husband died of kidney failure in 2018. Since then, Daryati has had to take care of her five children alone.

“My neighbors used not to believe that I could support my children alone until now. They thought I survived because of donations,” she said.

It can be imagined that without tough mothers like Tati, Uum and Daryati, perhaps families would be vulnerable to malnutrition and health, educational and economic problems during the pandemic.

As in the lyrics of Iwan Fals\' song "Ibu", these women still walk even though the soles of their feet are wounded and bloody. From these feet too, heaven is promised to the children who serve them. Happy Mother\'s Day; take care of them while they are still present.