The practice of kawin tangkap (kidnap and wed) still happens even though the lembaga adat (customary institution) in Sumba, East Nusa Tenggara, has declared it a violation of adat (customary law).
By
SONYA HELLEN SINOMBOR
·7 minutes read
KOMPAS/FERGANATA INDRA RIATMOKO
Wedding illustration
The practice of kawin tangkap (kidnap and wed) still happens even though the lembaga adat (customary institution) in Sumba, East Nusa Tenggara, has declared it a violation of adat (customary law). A number of women have fought against it and managed to free themselves from the shackle of kawin tangkap.
The resistance against the practice that does not "respect" Sumba women is carried out in various ways by women who refuse forced marriage. In addition to being free from the snares of kawin tangkap, they succeeded in proving that the myths – that it is difficult for women to find husbands, that it is difficult for women to have children and that women will be unlucky if they run away or return to their parents -- are completely untrue.
My heart was broken. I felt like I\'m going to die. The hope of marrying someone I love was lost.
The story of Cs, 31, was an example. This woman from one of the villages in Katiku Tana district, Central Sumba, became a victim of kawin tangkap on 10 Jan. 2017 and returned to her parents after six days of being kidnapped. Later, she married the man she loved.
On Tuesday (30/6/2020), she told the story about her struggle to free herself from kawin tangkap. Three years ago, Cs was kidnapped by several men and was then taken by car to the home of Za, 31, a man who wanted to marry her.
"My heart was broken. I felt like I\'m going to die. The hope of marrying someone I love was lost. I tried to survive, I keep saying that I would not do this [forced marriage]. I have a relationship with another man," said Cs.
While in the house of the family of the man who kidnapped her, every day Cs told his parents that she did not want to marry Za and asked to be released. So, when Za\'s family brought animals to her house as a dowry, her father stated that the customary marriage would continue only if her daughter agreed.
CAHYO HERYUNANTO
Wedding illustration
When her cellphone was confiscated by the man, Cs did not give up. She asked her sister to bring a book so she could write a message to her parents that she refused the forced marriage. Cs also asked her younger sibling to accompany her every night until the dispute was settled.
Cs can finally return home after his father with the help of the village head and a non-governmental organization (NGO) came to pick her up. "Thank God, I\'m fine, I can even have a baby girl, now one year and eight months old," said Cs who was married in September 2017.
At that time, I cried, feeling hurt, but I didn\'t lose my mind.
The experience of escaping from the shackle of kawin tangkap was also experienced by Ol, 31, a graduate of the Kupang State Polytechnic of Agriculture, in 2014. She escaped after two weeks of kidnapping by Ri, 41, a man who would marry her. Ol was kidnapped while going on a motorcycle after her activities at a local church. "At that time, I cried, feeling hurt, but I didn\'t lose my mind," she said.
During her time with Ri, even though they shared a room, Ol did not allow Ri to touch her on the grounds that she got her menstruation. Ol was looking for a way to escape.
Eventually, she managed to escape after telling Ri that she needed to go to the police station to get a document to apply for a job. Ol returned to her parents\' house and settled the issue with Ri\'s family. After a long process, Ri’s family released Ol.
Persistent
The resistance against kawin tangkap is not easy. Martha Hebi, director of the Solidarity for Women and Children (Sopan) said that apart from the victims themselves the key to break free from forced marriage also needs support from the parents.
"In order to get out of the trap of kawin tangkap, there must be family support and the women understand that this practice is a criminal act," Martha said.
From the testimony of kawin tangkap survivors that were collected by Rev. Aprissa Taranau, chairperson of Sumba-chapter of the Theology-Educated Women Association in Indonesia (Peruati), many women victims suffered severe trauma as a result of the practice. A 16-year-old girl who was a victim of a kawin tangkap in 2019, for example, was traumatic after being raped after she refused to marry the man who kidnapped her.
In June 2020, two more kawin tangkap happened again in Central Sumba. The first case happened to R, 21, a resident of Dameka village, Anakalang. The second case happened to M, 21, who was married and had a 10-month-old baby.
M was kidnapped by a hundred of people while feeding her baby. In her testimony to Yustina Dama Dia, a Sopan volunteer, she experienced sexual harassment when she was brought to the house of B, a man she did not know.
Unfortunately, kawin tangkap is untouchable by law. The practice of “kidnap and wed” is perceived by local residents as part of the customary marriage process. Under such practice, the women are arrested by a group of men in a crowded place so that many people would see it, creating an impression that the bridegroom was powerful because he kidnapped a woman to be made his wife.
For this reason, law enforcement officials must be present to protect victims. The efforts to stop kawin tangkap practices must be equipped with regulations, such as bylaws concerning the elimination of kawin tangkap and the ratification of the draft law on the Elimination of Sexual Violence.
Traditional house in Kampung Adat Tarung, Waikabubak, West Sumba Regency, NTT, Thursday (25/4/2019). The oldest traditional village in West Sumba is still consistent in maintaining local customs and culture in accordance with the original even though it is in the middle of the city.
Not in line
The practice of kawin tangkap is actually not in line with the custom of Sumba marriage. Umbu Sangaji, 77, chairperson of the Katiku Tana Selatan District Customary Institution, said that the kawin tangkap was not part of local customs. This is a violation of the marriage customs in Sumba.
Because it is a customary violation, the family of the man who committed kawin tangkap must be punished with a customary fine, which is handing over 11 animals to the family of the kidnapped woman. This is a sign of apology for taking the women forcibly. "They must restore the dignity and status of the women," Sangaji said.
Women\'s Empowerment and Child Protection Minister I Gusti Ayu Bintang Darmawati hopes that there will be no more practice of kawin tangkap under the guise of customary traditions that demeans the dignity of women. She will visit Sumba, meet local policy makers, to discuss the prevention of kawin tangkap.
The sad stories of kawin tangkap victims should encourage all parties to immediately stop this practice.
Head of the Central Sumba Family Planning and Population Control Agency, Agnes Mere, said that her office did not receive any reports of violence against women in the practice of kawin tangkap.
She acknowledged that there was no socialization to the residents regarding the prevention of kawin tangkap. Therefore, her office encouraged the victims to report it to the police so that the perpetrators deterred. "Socialization and advocacy must be carried out for prevention," she said.
According to Sulistyowati Irianto, professor of anthropology at the University of Indonesia, customary law is part of the cultural process. "Customary law changes in line with the advancement of society," she said.
Laws can be a tool for social engineering or reform for better changes. The sad stories of kawin tangkap victims should encourage all parties to immediately stop this practice.
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